[ a particular quality, habit, or disposition regarded as adversely affecting a person or group of people.]
In 2013 after spending the weekend partying at a music festival, drinking copious amounts of booze, consuming drugs, and getting hardly any sleep, I started to get little dots of dry red skin on my legs.
As the months went on, my partying and lifestyle went to a whole new level. The little red dots started showing up everywhere on my body. My legs, my arms, my face, my whole body was covered in these little red dots.
Naturally, the first thing I did was google ‘red dry skin dots on my body’. Self-prescribed doctor Danielle had everything under the sun!
Keep in mind at this point in my life I was just a motivated, rah-rah, positive person. I didn’t really understand the whole mindset, our spirit self, and what was really going on.
After going to the walk-in clinic, the verdict was “I am not sure what you have but take this steroid cream and put it on all the spots. It should take them away”.
(Remember my whole body was covered in these red dots and now I was supposed to put this cream all of my body? )
Regardless, I tried the cream and it was not working. I went down the specialist route. Appointment after appointment, nobody knew what was going on with me.
Finally, a skin specialist tells me that I have guttate psoriasis, an autoimmune disease that is incurable, and my last two options to remove the ‘liaisons’ (dry red spots on my skin) would be sunlight or a harsh steroid. The side-effects would impact my liver the worst. These treatments would remove them physically from my body, but I would still have the 'disease'.
(( *The liaisons are formed by my body thinking my good blood cells are bad and are killing them in that location, causing the liaison on my skin. The steroid cream does not cure the disease it just makes the outside skin produce good blood cells to heal itself. ))
So here is me, 23 years old, looking like my niece took a red bingo dapper to my body and I have just found out I have an incurable autoimmune disease called guttate psoriasis!!!!
At that moment a few things were going on for me;
Lucky for me, 1 month after seeing that doctor I was leaving for Thailand for 5 weeks and I was going to be out in the sun.
After spending 5 weeks in Thailand, the red dry patches went away. Completely cleared up. You would never have known I had them.
Obviously, at 23 I didn’t think too much about this new incurable autoimmune disease. The dots were gone, I was healthy. Back to partying, living a stressed life, chasing pay cheques and people's opinions!
2 years went by and I had no sign of these red dots or this new disease.
A lot had changed in those two years. I got a new job, moved to a new city, challenged a lot of my ways, and was making changes in my life.
I had just come back from a trip to Bali. My first ever solo trip. It was amazing. It was a life-changing trip. But part way through my trip, I started to get really sick.
I don’t know if it was from the partying or having the AC in my room too cold, but either way, I was sick.
And that’s when the dots came back.
Slowly over time, my whole body was covered in these red dots again. Off I went to my new doctor. I explained what I was told before. I shared that they went away after being in the sun.
She asked me some questions about what had changed in my life that could have brought these on. As it is an autoimmune disease she wanted to know if I had been sick or had any other inner issues going on.
After sharing with her what had changed in my life, my trip to Bali, getting really sick, she let me know the flare-up with my psoriasis was probably due to the flare-up in my throat (because autoimmune and throat-illness are connected).
She suggested a steroid cream and off I went.
Here I was again with some steroid cream that took a ridiculous amount of time to put on and required someone else's help.
This was the turning point for me.
How the heck did I all of a sudden get this incurable autoimmune disease at 23? How the heck were the dots being triggered? What is actually going on inside my body?
I started reading everything I could on psoriasis, autoimmune disease, and the human body. As I went down this path I started to learn more about our emotions, how we store them, and what our thoughts have to do with our bodies and reality.
One could say I went down the rabbit hole or as I call it, started my spiritual awakening.
I started to learn more and more about how we hold our emotions, past experiences, and negativity within our beings.
When we do not do anything to release these things, they get stored energetically within our beings, slowly over time they cause energy blocks in our human beings that show up as diseases.
After I wrapped my head around this new knowledge and understanding, I started to dive deeper into the mindset, who we are, how we energetically store our emotions causing them to show up in our physical beings as a disease, ailments, and sickness.
I already had an understanding of positive thoughts, creating a positive reality, and the law of attraction but I never thought about the impact all the negativity in my mind would have on my body.
I never put the two together….until I created so much negativity, overthinking, doubt, and stress within myself, that my body delivered a wake-up call in the form of an autoimmune disease.
When both of these flare-ups occurred I knew inside that I was unhappy, I was negative, I was pushing myself to a limit I shouldn’t be, and I was lying to myself, but I was paying no attention to it.
I took some time for myself to write down the things that were going on in my life when this disease showed itself to me and I came to realize that when I was living in a negative, doubtful, overthinking, scared, self-conscious, and a stressed world, I was having these flare-ups.
What I didn’t talk about earlier was what my life actually looked like during those times. I talked about being 23, living and partying, going to Thailand, and returning home from a trip to Bali.
When I was 23, living and partying, going to Thailand, I was a somewhat fake version of myself. I don’t mean my personality and who I am fake. I mean what I thought I had to do be, say, and look like during that time.
I was working a job that paid me very well. I bought a Mercedes-Benz. I was going traveling with my friends. One could say I was living the life.
But I wasn’t. I was in over my head financially with my car, lifestyle, and need to keep up with the Joneses. I was constantly trying to be the person I thought I needed to be for others to like me. I was playing yo-yo with my body (that means I was fit then overweight then fit then overweight - you know!)
It may have looked good from the outside but on the inside, I was hurting - BAD. This was one of the most stressed times in my life.
And what was so bad about Bali?
A couple of months before I went to Bali, I had left a job that I enjoyed very much but it was time for me to move on. I moved to a new city and was determined to allow that move to be the catalyst for my transformation (not that I knew what that was then!)
As Bali was approaching I had very little cash, I was struggling to find my way in a new city, I was taking a vacation right after starting, and I was holding onto a bunch of negative baggage from my previous employment.
As you can see it was not all sunshine and rainbows. I had a lot going on in my mind, emotions, and lifestyle when these flare-ups showed up.
I have now realized that I don't have an autoimmune disease problem. I have a negative energy problem. Whenever I get stressed, really down on myself, my psoriasis flares up...and this is not by some accident.
Looking back, every time I had one of these experiences it created a period of growth in my life. I was having to face areas in my life that were out of balance. My being was 'checking' me.
" I experienced a transformation and another level after going through my emotions, thoughts, and feelings manifesting in real life as a disease. "
So, there you have it.... That is how being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease changed my life.
Being told I have a 'incurable' autoimmune disease, caused me to research more about the human body, how we get sick, what our ‘diseases’ mean to us, and how this all really works.
Some might say I went all in on understanding how our bodies work with our thoughts and what is the ego, conscious, and subconscious mind.
I have not found the emotional cure for this disease and how to stop my body from having these breakouts, but I do know how to minimize the chance of having a breakout. And I have discovered more about myself, our mindsets, and spiritual alignment than ever before.
Unknowing to me, everything that happened and that I learned in my life prior, were all pieces in the puzzle I would later put together called - Your Mindset Mentor.
If you are interested in knowing more about the mind, the blocks you have created for yourself, and how to make your mindset work for you, let’s connect. I am always happy to connect with those that are wanting and seeking to better themselves.